I am glowing inside. God, I almost burst. There I am. Dancing, moving and, for a change, really being myself. In the small attic room of her 'Villa Kakelbont', Renske looks at me penetratingly. "Your eyes are different," she says. And that does something to me. Because I feel lighter. Closer to myself than I had dared to think this morning, when, together with Honeyguide Anne-Floor, I knocked on the solid wooden front door of a small reformed church in Moerdijk for a 1:1 day retreat at Wise and Own.
A woman stands in the doorway. Wild hair, floral trousers and a smile that touches her eyes. The contrast with the austere little church could hardly be greater. "Come in. I'm Renske," she says cheerfully. One by one, she grabs us tightly. "Normally people come through the back door. At the front of the church, a service is given every Sunday. I myself live and work in the back part".
From monks to Moerdijk - Meditation and energetic massages
She leads us to her back garden. A pear tree is in full bloom and a busy bee zooms around me with regularity. We talk about all sorts of things. Chit-chat doesn't last long. As it turns out, Renske is not like that. But she does share her story with us: "During my graduation, the feeling of: 'is this it?' crept up on me. Working hours a week for a company? I felt a huge urge for something else. I couldn't avoid it. As if a voice was saying to me: go explore, dear. You're worth it".
She booked a ticket to Thailand to live with the monks in a monastery of silence for 17 days. "The first 11 days I stayed at Wat Tam Wua in Chiang Mai, with no meditation experience. All sorts of things happened that I had never experienced before and I felt at home for the first time in my life. The monks said: 'Smile. You are happy, because you are here'. That has always stayed with me."
Energetic massage - In balance with a
From then on, Anne-Floor and I go our separate ways. She gets an energetic massage first to balance body and mind. Besides being super relaxing, an energetic massage focuses on activating our self-healing capacity; it activates the blood circulation and helps drain toxins.
Don't think, just write - Expressing in flow
I get to go back into the garden to write. "Don't think, just write," Renske urges me. And I do. For an hour, feelings flow from my pen onto paper. Everything inside me I write down, until I am empty and can only listen to the life around me.
When Renkse comes to fetch me again, I return to earth. In the attic, she has prepared some gemstones. "We are going to work with the stones and the energy they represent," she says. The experience is raw and intense, but very much needed. And Renske is there every moment of the way. As we lay down the gemstones and dance and move together, I feel in a trance, empty and light.
Energy works through - A day retreat with deep roots
Together we end the day and play in the garden some more. Before we go, we hug Renske - by ourselves - just because it feels good. That evening I fall asleep like a log, just as Renske predicted: "We have done a lot of energetic work, set a lot in motion. That takes energy and so you will still be tired tonight and tomorrow."
For me, this retreat was a special experience that I still think about and am grateful for every day. An important milestone on my single journey inward. Something I needed without -consciously- knowing it and absolutely something I wish for everyone who is ready for it.
About the 1:1 day retreat of Wijs en Eigen - Is this also something for you?
When you feel you want to go further, but can't seem to get to the core. When you are looking for clarity, inspiration and focus. A day that is all about you, where you can recharge and get close to yourself. Renske welcomes you with open arms. Recently she also started organising women's circles; special ceremonies especially for women. Take a look at the page of Wijs en Eigen or check out our retreat page full of conscious and loving tips.
Love,
Amanda
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